3 Lessons I’ve Learned While Wedding Planning

Nope, this post is not about how to have the most epic, organized Excel doc of guest lists or how to make amazing place settings. Instead, it’s about a few lessons I’ve learned – about myself and about marriage – while planning a wedding. The lessons are an a-ha moment, an I-should-have-learned-this-earlier-but-didn’t moment and most certainly “you-definitely-won’t-read-this-in-a-wedding-magazine” type of advice {or at least I haven’t read it in one yet!}. Keep in mind, these three life lessons aren’t just for those who are engaged. These are lessons that relate to our larger life experience outside of getting married, but for some reason or another, they really hit me during the wedding planning process. Hopefully they are a small reminder to you, no matter where you’re at in life!

ONE You are more than your body. Body image – major ugh, right?! Some people view the wedding as a countdown to get the #BESTBODYEVER and tone up, slim down or whatever to look absolutely flawless. And of course, I want to look good on our big day too! As someone who has felt insecure with my body for way too long, it’s been incredibly freeing to take a step back and remember I am more than my body. My worth doesn’t come from the size of my hips or how toned my arms are or whether or not I have a six pack {in case you were wondering, I definitely don’t}. My body is beautiful the way it is and should be celebrated and appreciated, not scrutinized and shamed. Of course, it’s important to feed, nourish and challenge your body, which can happen leading up to a wedding or absolutely any other time in life. Working out is something I do to feel better physically, emotionally and mentally. BUT! I’ve been reminded to accept and love my imperfectly perfect body the way it is. I refuse to spend the last few weeks before the wedding feeling less-than-good-enough and living out of a “I must go to the gym to look perfect!!!” mindset.

TWO Stop comparing. It’s easy to get stuck in the comparison trap in everyday life – looking at other people’s perfect jobs or perfect living rooms or perfect travels. Wedding planning can be an incredibly slippery slope in terms of comparison. I love apps like Pinterest and Instagram, but it’s so easy to take those beautifully curated images as reality all of the time. Everything looks so perfect and if you’re not careful, you can view images you see online or in magazines and make that your standard of success, perfection and happiness. Even going to other people’s weddings {I’ve been to five this year so far!} can be an easy opportunity to compare someone else’s big day to the one we’re planning. I’ve learned, slowly and not-so-gracefully, that it’s important to make your own decisions and be happy and content with those decisions. Comparing with other people’s weddings or images from magazines or social media is not only a waste of time, but it also takes away your joy, leaving you unfulfilled and upset.

THREE Remembering what really matters. In the case of wedding planning, it’s so easy to get caught up in this one very special day and get stressed, overwhelmed or worked up about how every single thing will go every single second of the day. What’s been so important for me to tell myself over and over and over is that it’s NOT ABOUT THAT DAY. It’s not about the stunning dress or napkin colors or playlists or food choices or having fun or coordinating tuxedos. While those things are lovely {okay, seriously – napkin colors?!?! That is one wedding decision that is just annoying.}, they aren’t what getting married is about.  It’s about a promise, commitment and the future. The wedding is a fancy, fun and beautiful way to celebrate that. When I feel caught up in the details, I try to take a step back and remember what we want our wedding to be – two words we chose to define our wedding vibe right after we were engaged – authentic and joyful.  That feeling that people have – and that WE have day-of the wedding –  is infinitely more important than color schemes and flower bouquets.

{photo via cindy loughridge}

xo