Category: Motherhood

I found this photo on E’s phone recently; I didn’t know he snapped it the day Winnie was born on February 13, 2020. It brings tears to my eyes whenever I see it because it feels like this version of me is so far away. It’s hard to believe this was in 2020. So much has changed in nine months. I couldn’t have imagined that weeks later, siblings wouldn’t come to the hospital to meet their new baby brother or sister, like Lucy did. I couldn’t have imagined that some women would labor with masks; some would have the traumatic experience of having a baby without their partner present. […]

a few months ago, Lucy would cry and get scared when she saw someone wearing a mask. getting her to wear one felt impossible. but here she is — rocking her mask the entire trip without complaining. so proud of her! 🥳 for the longest time, I  thought we would never be able to convince her to wear a mask, but she has really adapted so well to the pandemic and this strange year. we still don’t take her inside a lot of places, but she knows that when we are inside or around people in a public place, she needs to do her best […]

I’m proud of the mom who, in a postpartum haze, booked herself a counseling appointment. who loaded up the car with an overstuffed diaper bag and a one-month-old baby and walked into the session to get help. I’m proud of the mom who trusted her instincts. who didn’t follow one way of “doing things” but did what felt right for her and her family. who accepted who she was and who she wasn’t — that she isn’t a “make your own baby food” kinda mom and that’s perfectly okay. I’m proud of the mom who started grad school with a three month old baby. who did […]

motherhood, for me, is full of contradictions. I never knew how many conflicting thoughts and feelings I would have. I feel pulled in different directions emotionally, mentally, and often physically almost every day. 🤍 like desperately craving space and time alone, but then wishing I was holding and playing with them when they‘re asleep or we’re apart. wanting my girls to be more independent but feeling sad when they don’t need me in the same way. wishing I was free of responsibility and could stay up late and sleep in, but feeling content and honored by the responsibility of being a mother. wanting to do […]

my daughter Winnie was born on February 13, almost exactly one month before the world shut down for the coronavirus pandemic. little did we know, that having my mom bring Lucy to the hospital to meet her sister, would be “a thing of the past” just a few weeks later. little did we know, a month later, many women would have to wear masks while giving birth, and some would even have the difficult experience of giving birth without their partner present. leading up to Winnie’s birth, and in the immediate weeks afterwards, we had no idea the magnitude of how life would look so […]

Dear soon-to-be mama of two, It might feel impossible to survive pregnancy while simultaneously juggling keeping another child alive. It might feel impossible to manage adoption logistics, while also keeping another child fed, well-rested, and happy. Time goes so slow when you’re waiting for a new baby, but simultaneously so fast when you are waiting for a baby while taking care of the child right in front of you. Your body might hurt, your heart might feel scared, your mind might be racing and the day you’ll meet your baby might feel so far away. It will happen before you know it.️ You might worry that […]