Why is it so common that when girls get “dumped” or heartbroken they immediately blame themselves? I hate that. Someone I’m really close to was burned pretty bad by a boyfriend recently, and it frustrates me so much how easy it is for girls to switch the blame; and I’ve been guilty of doing the same. “I deserved it”, “I did this wrong”, “I should of done this better”, “I’m not good/pretty/skinny/happy/nice/whatever enough”. No. No. No. That’s not true. I need to slap myself back to reality sometimes and remind myself that no one-regardless of what they may have done-deserves to be treated as insignificant or unimportant. One thing I learned that I reminded my friend: don’t let someone try to make you feel less than you are.
My cure-all for when I’m facing a situation that makes me feel like I did something wrong or deserved to be treated in a way that was undeserved and unfair is this: spending time with your real friends. The ones who know you and respect you and push you to respect yourself. I thought I’d share the quotes on here (and with my friend) that are must-reads when you are in that mood or mindset.
Living with integrity means: Not setting for less than what you know you deserve. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, not just what others believe. –Barbara De Angelis
“You need to believe you are worth something. Listen to yourself, set boundaries, speak up, create strong relationships, and get help when you need it…all of these actions show you respect yourself.”
Real fulfillment comes from: Caring about yourself. Appreciating your uniqueness. Respecting your needs. Exploring your passions.Helping others. Contributing. Questioning anything that doesn’t feel right. Believing in and supporting other women. Learning from rejection and mistakes and moving on. Not seeing yourself as above or below anyone else. Knowing you’re here, you’re special, and you’re in charge of your experience and choices. Doing what you know you should do.” – above quotes from interview with Courtney Macavinta found here